The ultimate tranny. Yeah, you read that right.
It’s been nearly two weeks since my last blog entry and I’m a little shocked, but I really shouldn’t be. It doesn’t seem like that much time has passed, but since all I do recently is work and sleep it really isn’t surprising that the days have simply melted away while to me it seems like no time has passed at all.
Last week alone I worked more than 75 hours. Ugh. That’s just way, way too much for me.
But anyway, there was one incident in the last few weeks that has stuck with me like a flaming arrow vomited forth from the darkness of a moonless night:
That is my encounter with the ultimate tranny.
Many of you may not be aware, but Hollywood isn’t all the glamor and glitz portrayed in movies, television and the exciting pages of important journalistic periodicals such as "US Weekly" and "Star".
No my friends, for those who have lived in and/or visited Hollywood you know the truth: most of Hollywood, although not without it’s peculiar charms, only really showcases the glamor of fast food establishments, run-down commercial buildings and hard working guys and gals selling a dozen roses or a bag of pistachio nuts on the corner.
The particular niche of Hollywood that my job resides in seems to be home to the highest concentration of transvestites I’ve ever seen, and remember, that includes San Francisco.
There either must be some sort of transvestite "spawning point" like those found in video games that constantly births them, or else there is some secret meeting place, kind of like a transvestite Justice League of America, where they all gather on a regular basis to discuss the issues that face their community.
Whatever the case may be, I rarely go a day without spotting a transvestite on the corner dressed in some ridiculously garish outfit. It has gotten to the point that when I see an actual female woman person walking around this area I do a double take and almost ram my car into a building; I’m just that surprised.
But back on topic: The other day I saw a transvestite standing on the corner waiting for the light to turn green. As I passed by himher, all my other thoughts totally drained away and I was totally struck by the glory of the ultimate tranny.
If I could fly around the earth and turn back time like Superman I would totally go buy a camera phone and snap a picture of the ultimate tranny. But I can’t, so unfortunately you’ll have to make do with just your own imagination.
The ultimate tranny was so totally ultimate because heshe made, by far, the least attempt to try to look like a female of any transvestite I have ever seen. Heshe was totally comfortable with hisher look and seemed to care less about what anyone else in this world thought of himher. That kind of confidence is extremely admirable in my book.
The ultimate tranny appeared to be of middle-eastern descent. Heshe had a very dark complexion with big bushy black eyebrows and a dark, dark 10 o’clock shadow of a beard. Hisher hair was cut quite short and bleached stark blonde/white.
Heshe was wearing a dirty wife-beater (complete with exposed dark chest hair) and a very small dirty white jeans skirt. This awesome outfit was rounded off by some dirty white sneakers (think: low-topped Converse style).
Heshe was standing with hisher shoulders slouched forward, one hand perched on hisher hip and hisher pelvic region thrust forward. In other words, displaying the worst posture you’ve ever seen.
Unfortunately, I have no idea what became of the ultimate tranny. The light turned green and heshe walked off amongst the dusty streets of Hollywood.
But I’ll never forget the ultimate tranny. I just wish you all could have been there to see himher, and we could have basked in the glory together.
