yakface speaketh!

I’m here to announce today that the cold war is over. From here on out I will be posting my blog on both Friendster and MySpace. Although tensions have run high in the past between the two super-powers, I’m confident that my bold attempt to start a lasting peace will be successful.

Finally now my friends on MySpace can enjoy all the wit and intelligence that I’ve been intermittently spreading around Friendster for months now.

If you feel the need to leave me a comment letting me know that some other douche-bag you know has already done such a thing, please, don’t bother. We all know that anything I haven’t read before doesn’t actually exist.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about what I witnessed tonight. Nothing spectacular, just one of those everyday life moments that stick in your mind for whatever reason.

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Sunday March 12, 2006.

Location: "Sav-On" in Marina Del Rey.

Time: approximately 8:30pm.

Scene: I am at the checkout sliding my credit card through the reader, while the neurotic indie-rocker clerk makes sure I’m performing this complex action correctly. Behind me, a mother with two little boys stands in line.

One of the little boys notices a Coca-Cola mini-fridge conviently located within the confines of the line. He moves towards it.

Boy: Mommy, I want some water. Mommy, I want some water. I want some water.

He looks wistfully at the fine selection of "Dasani" ™ plastic bottles contained within the fridge.

Boy: Mommy, I want some water. Mommy, I want some water. I want some water! I want some water!

His mother, obviously having built up an immunity to just this sort of nonsense over the years ignores his ever more intense pleas. Meanwhile, the boy has now opened the fridge door and is grasping at some of the bottles as though they contain some magic elixir that can cure him from a life threatening disease.

Boy: Mommy, I want some water. Mommy, I want some water. I want some water! I want some water! Mommy, I want some WATER! MOMMY, I WANT SOME WATER! I WANT SOME WATER!!!

I have finished my transaction and begun to walk away from the register. The mother, finally needing her children to move forward in the line, figures it must be time to actually acknowledge that her child has repeated the same sentence at least two dozen times in the last 30 seconds.

Boy: MOMMY, I WANT SOME WATER! MOMMY, I WANT
SOME WATER! I WANT SOME WATER!!!

Mother: No. We have water at home.

Boy: Okay.

A Chupacabra then leaps from aisle 6 (deoderant) and mauls the whole family. With that, I leave the store confident that something that silly can only happen in real life. You just can’t make that shit up.

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P.S. Some liberties may have been taken to make the story more dramatic. For example, the "indie-rocker" clerk was really just some guy with a tatoo on his arm. Not the Chupacabra part, though. That absolutely happened.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 12th, 2006 at 9:25 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.