yakface speaketh!

Merry Christ-kwanz-chaka everybody! I hope everyone is enjoying their completely non-denominational time off from their work and/or school. I think it’s what god would want if he existed besides blessing our currency.

For Christmas, I’m leaving this dreary snow-filled state and heading. . .wait. That doesn’t work. Ok, I’m leaving our 80-degree in the winter, sunshine filled paradise to go visit another 80-degree sunshine filled paradise. Namely Florida; home of swamps, hurricanes and slightly different theme parks.

I’m meeting all my immediate family there, including my sister Suzie flying in from Italy. Should be fun. Apparently, most of my relatives who have lived in Florida their whole lives are packing up and moving out of state. In a way, this is the last chance to bask in all my childhood memories of visiting Florida during the summertimes of my youth.

One visit there I had the privelage of sitting through hurricane Andrew, and let me tell you all something:  For my money, I’ll take a good old earthquake any day of the week over any other natural disaster out there.

Having to sit there, watch the news, board up the windows and fret about what was going to happen (all while knowing that if the Hurricane decides to pick up a tree and throw it through the house, no amount of plywood on the windows is going to help) is the absolute pits.

Tornadoes you get those damn storm warnings and you have to go huddle in your basement. Floods and blizzards last a long, long time.

Earthquakes on the other hand are over before they start, there is (thankfully) no warning system; they just hit. You’re either taken out by something collapsing on you or you’re perfectly fine, sucking away on your juice box.

In fact, I think the saddest day in the world’s history (okay maybe that’s pushing it) will be the day humans are able to predict earthquakes reliably. I can already imagine the idiotic news coverage and the truckloads of petrified people jamming up the freeways desperately trying to get out of the city.

No thank you sir. I’ll sit back, turn on a video game and take my chances.

So what do I want for Christmas?  Hmmm. . .I’ll be asking Santa for a mysterious fire in the Earthquake detection labs. That and no Hurricane while I’m in the Orange Juice state.

Best wishes, and see you all next year.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 22nd, 2005 at 2:05 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.